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star bright, star light
7.18.04













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i'm pretty sure i don't believe in karma. it's a nice thought, but i just don't think the world works that way. i've seen too many bad things happen to good people and vice versa. i mean, maybe it could work with reincarnation and all, but i have problems with reincarnation too.
 
i don't really have a strong afterlife belief. like i don't have a firm belief in a heaven/hell, reincarnation, or a blank space, etc. like, i don't have any proof of any of those afterlifes, so i have a shaky sort of idea of a reincarnation process coupled with a possible "summerland" (which is what some wiccans call heaven). and apparently, to those who do believe in reincarnation, animal reincarnation is out. i don't get this. if the point in reincarnation is to learn all that one can, how can one learn from every perspective when one is only being reincarnated in human forms. it just doesn't make sense to me. like... reincarnation does make sense to me if, in certain instances, the reincarnation happens through animals. and... i don't think i really understand the whole reason for reincarnating... but it makes sense with all the "circle of life" stuff. but then again, i hate the fact that there might not be a resting place or whatever.
 
am i making any sense?
 
i'm just sorting out my beliefs.
 
one of my beliefs that has changed drastically over the past year is the belief in magick. it's not the magic that one sees in movies, but it could be. like, have you ever heard that art is magical? well, it is. and that's how the movies can be magickal. if that makes sense. i believe that all types of creating are magick. so praying, which is technically a creation of thought and communication with the divine, is a part of magick. and rituals create a magick inside oneself... an energy that is created through dancing or laughing or singing or attuning oneself with the goddess and god. this energy is used to help one create a type of magick within the mind that enforces one's will.
so even if i wasn't wiccan, i'd believe in magick. it's everywhere. whenever flowers grow, or love blooms, or the sun shines... i know that sounds wicked corny, but it's true. it's all magick.
 
okay... that's enough for now.