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my prerogative













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6.15.05
"Evil can take everything away from you
But they can never take away your truth
But the question is..
Can you handle mine?
...
Everybody's talkin' all this stuff about me
Why don't they just let me live? (tell me why)
I don't need permission
Make my own decisions (oh)
That's my prerogative
That's my prerogative"
"My Prerogative" - Britney Spears

Yes, I just quoted a Britney Spears' song. Got a problem with that? Well, stuff it. Seriously. I mean, my friends here can be such music snobs... I mean, at Smith, they'll at least listen to a song and decide for themselves whether they like it or not... and not just decide, because it's popular, it's a bad song, which is what my friends here do. They won't even listen to the Gwen Stefani "Hollaback Girl" song. It's a damn good song. Sure it's silly, but so is "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" (The Darkness). But whatever. They listen to The Killers and a lot of other popular songs, but they won't listen to Gwen Stefani or Britney Spears or anything that's too pop-ish or whatever. It's strange. Whatev. It just makes me miss Ali and Kris and their inebriated cheerleading to "Hollaback Girl." Hehe.

Speaking of inebriated... Anna just called me from Texas... and she was def. inebriated. But I actually didn't know it until she told me... I was kinda wondering why she kept rambling on and on. It was actually a very good conversation. She talked for most of it, but it was very interesting talking. Apparently, she's been getting drunk with her boyfriend's parents every night now. Or quite often at least. Haha. That's super weird, but also kinda cool...

I feel a lot better about life today. I was actually in a good mood after 2 PM, after we talked to the lawyer and everything. And I got to see my friends! Which was very exciting... I miss them. Being grounded sucks the big one. So does working. I really don't want to work there anymore, but it's not exactly like I can quit... that would be social suicide, not to mention professionial suicide. Oh well. I wouldn't quit anyway... I need the money. I just have to make sure that I do not come to Franktown next year. I can't stand another summer of this. I'm going to try to get an internship in San Francisco next summer. Or Boston... Boston would be super cool! I actually do really want to live in Salem after college... maybe I could get an internship there... and then I could drive into Boston and visit Michele and stuff. Hm... Maybe I could get some friends to go in with me... Or I could get an internship with the Ellen DeGeneres Show next year. That would be super sweet. Just as long as it's far away from Franktown and near a city, if not in a city (a city that's not Nashvegas). Near a beach would be nice too...

Okay, rambling.
Hmmmm...

I was kinda upset today because Laci told me that I had to take my nose ring out and put in the clear stud. I mean, I was pretty much expecting it... but it was still kinda upsetting. I mean, it's so much a part of me now... my nose ring. It's weird looking at myself without it. Plus, it's a bitch getting the ring back in, so I can't go swimming until Pawley's Island, unless it's an emergency. Not that I'll have much time to go swimming, but still. It's the thought... :( Right now, I'm wearing the cherry stud. HAHAHAHAHAHA. I only bought it because it's hilarious. Seriously, how weird is a cherry on one's nose? I'm so weird sometimes. I buy the weirdest shit, thinking it's hilarious and that everyone will laugh, but sometimes I don't think anyone gets it. Whatev. Like once, I bought a baby Jesus finger puppet. I couldn't resist. See? That's my weird sense of humor. Oh well.

I've stopped writing in my livejournal because I hate it. I'm not sure why, but I just don't like it very much anymore. It feels so much more public than my website, which probably isn't true, but on here, I don't know who reads this or who visits if anyone. But on livejournal, people can comment and shit and it's not really annoying... it's kinda nice... but I was just kinda sick of feeling "judged." Which is stupid. But the whole point of livejournal is to write about what you want other people to know about you... so it's kinda weird. This thing is the same concept, but I feel a little less judged or whatever.

Gosh, I should stop rambling.

I'm going to go finish reading Harry Potter now.